How My Mother Cared For Her Body

My Mother died of cancer. Her death and how she chose it will be another entry in this blog. For now, I am reflecting on caring for one's body. - sm

I have often thought that cancer is a dis-ease and a product of fear. My mother had both. She was often ill at ease in many settings. She held fear like a sword and kept it as her constant companion. It’s been said that the definition of courage is taking action in the face of fear. I know my mother held fear close to her, yet she behaved in many strong and courageous ways. And, she had cancer.

She cared for her body as she cared for her children. She cleaned it, she feed it, and she pleasured it. She did not seem to always love it, however. In a similar way, I often thought she didn't love my sister and I either. Now, after her death, I know that she deeply loved her children. I can now see that she did not always know how to show that love or if she did, she did not know how to show it so it would be seen. Still the love existed and I am a product of it.

I do think she did not love her body. She may have respected it, appreciated it and certainly used it well. But,she did not complete that task of learning to love it. So, I will pick up the banner of loving my own body for her. This I do because I know that where she is, she has no need of her body, nor any need to finish her work of loving it. I promise to pick up her banner and learn to love my body in ways my mother never did.